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The child is an extension of
his father and the bearer of his characteristics. During his lifetime he is the joy of his
father's eyes, while after his death he represents a continuation of his existence and an
embodiment of his immortality. He inherits his features and stature as well as his mental
qualities and traits, both the good and the bad, the beautiful as well as the ugly, from
his father. The child is a part of his father's heart and a piece of his body.
Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala has ordained marriage and has forbidden
adultery so that paternity may be established without doubt or ambiguity and that the
child may be referred to his father and the father to his sons and daughters. Through
marriage a woman is reserved for one man; it is haram for her to be unfaithful to
him or to let anyone else have access to what belongs exclusively to him. Thus, every
child born to her in wedlock will be her husband's child, without any need for recognition
or public proclamation of the fact by him or a corresponding claim on the part of the
mother. "The child is
attributed to the one on whose bed it is born," (Reported by al-Bukhari and Muslim.
Literally: "The child belongs to the bed.") declared
the Prophet of Islam (peace be on him).
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It is not permissible for
the husband to deny his paternity of any child born to his wife as long as they are
married to each other. Such a denial would bring the ugliest shame imaginable upon both
the wife and the child. He is, therefore, not allowed to take such a step on the basis of
a mere suspicion, a sudden notion, or an evil rumor. If, however, on the basis of evidence
which has come to his attention, he is convinced that his wife has betrayed him, the Shari'ah
of Islam has no desire to force him to raise a child whom he believes not to be his
own or to let the child be his heir, or—at the very least—to allow him to suffer
from suspicion and doubt the rest of his life.
A way out of this dilemma, known in Islamic jurisprudence as li'an, is
provided by the Shari'ah. If a man is convinced or strongly suspects, although
without having proof, that his wife has had sexual relations with another man and is
carrying his child, he can take the case to a Muslim judge (qadi). The qadi will
ask the man and his wife to invoke the curse of Allah on one another in the manner
prescribed in Surah al-Nur: As
for those who accuse their wives but have no witnesses except themselves, the testimony of
one of them shall consist of bearing witness by Allah four times that he is of the
truthful, and a fifth (time) that the curse of Allah be upon him if he is one of those who
lie. And it shall avert the punishment from her if she bear witness by Allah four times
that he is indeed of those who lie, and a fifth (time) that the wrath of Allah be upon her
if he is among the truthful. (24:6-9)
After this the two shall be separated permanently, and the child shall be identified by
the name of his or her mother.
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Just as it is haram for
a man to deny his paternity of a child born to his wife in wedlock, it is likewise haram
for him to legally adopt a son of whom he is not the natural father. Like peoples of
other societies during the course of history, the Arabs of jahiliyyah used to add anyone
they wished to their lineage and family through adoption. A man would adopt (tabanna, "to
make one's son") any boy of his liking as son (mutabanna), announce the fact
to the public, and the boy would become like a son to him, sharing the responsibilities
and rights of his adopted family and taking its name. The adoption was effective despite
the fact that the adopted son might have a known father and come from a known lineage.
This practice was widespread in Arab society at the advent of Islam.
Before receiving the call to prophethood, the Prophet (peace be on him) had himself
adopted Zaid bin Harithah, who had been captured as a child during one of the raids on his
tribe which were common occurrences during the period of jahiliyyah. Hakim bin
Hizam had bought him for his aunt Khadijah, and after her marriage to the Prophet (peace
be on him) Khadijah presented Zaid to him. When Zaid's father and uncle learned his place
of residence, they came to the Prophet (peace be on him) to demand Zaid's return. The
Prophet (peace be on him) gave Zaid a choice, and he chose to stay with the Prophet (peace
be on him) in preference to his father and uncle. The Prophet (peace be on him) then set
him free and adopted him as his son in the presence of others. He was thereafter called
Zaid ibn Muhammad and became the first of the freed slaves to accept Islam.
Now what is the judgement of Islam concerning such a system of
adoption? Islam rightly views this sort of adoption as a falsification of the natural
order and of reality. Taking a stranger into the family as one of its members; and
allowing him privacy with women who are not his muharrmat, nor he theirs, is a
deception, for the man's wife is not the adopted son's mother, nor is his daughter the
boy's sister nor is his sister his aunt, since all of them are non-mahrem to him.
Moreover, the adopted son acquires a claim on the inheritance of the man and his wife,
depriving the rightful, deserving relatives of their inheritance. Such a situation arouses
the anger of the real relatives against the intruder who encroaches upon them and usurps
their rights, depriving them of their full inheritance. (Since the Islamic Shari'ah specifies the share of an individual's
property to which each near blood relative is entitled, the legal adoption of a child who
is not among such relatives, but who, by virtue of adoption, is one of the heirs would
naturally create bitterness and hostility among the rightful heirs. (Trans.)) Frequently such anger leads to quarrels and to the breaking of
relations among relatives. That is why the Qur'an abolished this jahili system,
prohibiting it totally and eradicating all its consequences. Says Allah
Ta'ala: ...Nor has He made your adopted sons your (real)
sons; that is simply a saying of your mouths. But Allah speaks the truth, and He guides
you to the (right way). Call them by (the names of) their fathers; that is more
just in the sight of Allah. But if you do not know their fathers, they are your
brothers-in-faith and your wards....(33:4-5)
Let us ponder the Qur'anic words, "He has not made your adopted
sons your (real) sons; that is simply a saying of your mouths." This signifies that
the declaration of adoption consists of words having no corresponding objective reality. A
mere pronouncement does not change realities, alter facts, or make a stranger a relative,
or an adopted individual a son. A mere verbal expression or figure of speech cannot make
the blood of a man run in the veins of the adopted son, produce feelings of fatherly
affection in the man's heart or filial emotions in the heart of the boy, or transfer
either the genetic characteristics or physical, mental, or psychological traits.
Islam abolished all the effects of this system of adoption which relate
to inheritance and to prohibition of marriage to the widowed or divorced wife of the
adopted son. In matters of inheritance, the Qur'an does not recognize any claim except
those based on relationship through blood and marriage: ...But blood relatives are nearer to each other in the ordinance of
Allah....(8:75)
With regard to marriage, The Qur'an declared that only the wives of one's real sons,
"the wives of your sons who are from your
(own) loins" (4:23), not the wives of the
adopted sons, are permanently forbidden in marriage. Accordingly, it is permissible for a
man to marry the divorced wife of his adopted son, since she has been, in actuality, the
wife of a "stranger" not related by blood.
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The practice of adopting sons was very deeply rooted in the society of
pre-Islamic Arabia, and it was not easy for people to give it up. But Allah Ta'ala wanted
to eradicate it and its effects, not only by words but also by . In order that all doubts
concerning matter might be dispelled, that the Believers might feel at ease with respect
to marrying the ex-wives of their adopted sons, and, more importantly, that they might
know with certainty that the halal is that which is permitted by Allah and that the
haram is that which is forbidden by Him alone, Allah Ta'ala chose the Prophet
(peace be on him) himself for this important task.
Now Zaid bin Harithah, who was known as Zaid ibn Muhammad, had married
the Prophet's cousin, Zainab bint Zahsh. Zaid and Zainab were not happy together, and Zaid
became increasingly dissatisfied with his wife, complaining frequently to the Prophet
(peace be on him). Although the Prophet (peace be on him) knew, through divine revelation,
that Zaid would divorce Zainab and that he would afterwards marry her himself, human
weakness occasionally overcame him, and he was afraid of facing the people. Thus, whenever
Zaid complained to him about his wife, the Prophet (peace be on him) would tell him,
"Hold on to your wife and fear Allah." At that point Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala
revealed some verses of the Qur'an admonishing the Prophet (peace be on him) and at the
same time fortifying his will to face society in demolishing the remnants of this ancient
system, in this case, the established practice which prohibited a man from marrying the
ex-wife of a stranger who had been adopted as a son. Saye Allah Ta'ala: And when thou didst say to him who had received
the favor of Allah and thy favor, 'Retain thy wife and fear Allah,' thou didst hide within
thyself what Allah was about to make manifest, fearing the people; but Allah has more
right that thou shouldst fear Him. Then, when Zaid had carried out the necessary formality
(of divorce) from her, We gave her to thee in marriage so that (in the future) there might
be no difficulty for the Believers with respect to (marriage to) the wives of their
adopted sons when the latter have carried out the necessary formality (of divorce) from
them; and Allah's command must be fulfilled.
(33:37)
The Qur'an goes on to support the Prophet (peace be on him) in this action, confirming its
lawfulness and removing any stigma attached to it: There is no fault in the Prophet in what Allah has made obligatory for
him. That was Allah's practice with those of old who passed away, and the command of Allah
is a decree determined — those who delivered the messages of Allah and feared Him,
fearing none but Allah; and Allah suffices in keeping account. Muhammad is not the father
of any man among you, but he is the Messenger of Allah and the Seal of the Prophets; and
Allah is the Knower of all things. (33:38-40)
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As explained above, the type
of adoption which has been abolished by Islam is that kind which makes a boy a member of
the family, with all the rights of inheritance, the permissibility of mixing freely with
other members of the household, the prohibition of marriage and so on.
But the word "adoption" is also used in another sense, one
which is not prohibited by Islam—that is, when a man brings home an orphan or a
foundling to rear, to educate, and to treat as his own child; he protects, feeds, clothes,
teaches, and loves the child as his own. However, he does not attribute the child to
himself, nor does he give him the rights which the Shari'ah reserves for natural
children. This is a meritorious act in Allah's religion, and the man who does it will be
rewarded by being admitted to Paradise. Said the Prophet (peace be on him), "I, and the one who raises an orphan, will
be like these two in the Garden", and he
pointed to his middle and index fingers with a slight gap between the two.
A foundling (laqeet) is regarded as an orphan (yateem), and
one may also apply the term wayfarer (ibn al-sabeel),(The "Wayfarer" is one of several categories of people
mentioned as deserving of charity in various Qur'anic verses, notably 2:176 and 9:60. A
foundling or orphan can also be considered as belonging in this category and hence as
doubly deserving of help and charity. (Trans.)) one of
those who must also be cared for, to him as well.
If a man has no children of his own, and he wishes to benefit such a
child from his wealth, he may give him whatever he wants during his lifetime and may also
bequeath to him up to one-third of his inheritance before his death.
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Islam safeguards lineage by
prohibiting zina and legal adoption, thus keeping the family line unambiguously
defined without any foreign element entering into it. It likewise prohibits what is known
as artificial insemination if the donor of the semen is other than the husband. In such a
case, as the well-known professor, Shaikh Shaltut, says, It is a despicable crime and a
major sin, to be classified in the same category as adultery. Both (adultery and
artificial insemination by anyone other than the husband) are similar in nature and in
effects; that is, in both cases the tillage which belongs exclusively to the husband is
intentionally inseminated by a stranger. Had the form of this crime not been of a lesser
degree, such insemination would have been punishable by the same hadd punishment as
is prescribed for adultery in the divinely revealed Shari'ah.
There is, however, no doubt that insemination by a donor other than the husband is a
more serious crime and detestable offense than adoption, for the child born of (such)
insemination incorporates in itself the result of adoption—the introduction of an
alien element into the lineage — in conjunction with the offense of adultery, which
is abhorrent both to the divinely revealed laws and to upright human nature. By this
action the human being is degraded to the level of an animal, who has no consciousness of
the noble bonds (of morality and lineage) which exist among the members of a human society
(AI-Fatwa (Islamic Legal Decisions),
by Shaikh Shaltut, p. 300)
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Just as Islam prohibits a
father to deny his paternity of his own child without a justifiable reason, it likewise
forbids the child to claim a lineage other than his own, or to claim as father someone who
is not his real father. The Prophet (peace be on him) listed this practice among the
abominable evils deserving the curse of both the Creator and His creatures. Once 'All,
speaking from the pulpit, read from some pages on which he had written various ahadith.
One of the Prophet's statements was the following: The one who claims descent from someone other than his (real) father,
and the slave who attaches himself to someone other than his (real) master, are cursed by
Allah, His angels, and the people. Allah will accept neither repentance nor ransom from
such a person on the Day of Resurrection. (Reported by al-Bukhari and Muslim.)
And Sa'd bin Abi Waqqas narrated that the Prophet
(peace be on him) said, If someone
claims a person as his father with the knowledge that he is not his father, the Garden
will be forbidden to him. (Reported
by al-Bukhari and Muslim.)
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After safeguarding the
lineage in this manner, Islam imposed certain mutual rights, which proceed naturally from
the parent-child relationship, upon children and parents, making certain things haram for
them in order to protect these rights.
The child has a right to life. Neither the father nor the mother have
the right to take the life of the child, whether a boy or a girl, by killing it or burying
it alive, as was done by some Arabs of jahiliyyah. Says Allah Ta'ala:
And do not kill your children out of fear of
poverty; We shall provide for them and for you. Truly, the killing of them is a great sin. (17:31)
...When
the female child who was buried alive is asked for what crime she was killed. (81:8-9)
Whatever the motive for this crime may be, whether economical, such as
fear of poverty and lack of provision, or non-economic, such as fear of disgrace in the
case of a daughter, Islam absolutely prohibits this savage act which is nothing but
premeditated murder and the oppression of a feeble, helpless humabeing. That is why, when
the Prophet (peace be on him) was asked, "What is the greatest sin?" he replied,
'To ascribe divinity to someone
other than Allah, when He is the One Who created you.' 'What next?' he was asked. 'To kill
your child out of fear that it will share your food, he replied. (Reported by
al-Bukhari and Muslim.)
The Prophet (peace be on him) took
an oath of allegiance from both men and women at the time of their accepting Islam. This
oath of allegiance included the condition that they would not kill their children and
would consider it an absolutely prohibited crime: ...That they will not steal nor commit zina nor kill their
children....(60:12)
It is the right of a child in relation to its parents that they should
give it a good name, not one which will cause it embarrassment when it grows older. It is haram
to give a name which denotes a slave or worshipper of someone other than Allah, as for
example 'Abd al-Nabi, 'Abd al-Masih, and the like.
A child has a right to sustenance, education, and proper care. The
parents are not permitted to neglect the child's needs nor to abuse it The Prophet (peace
be on him) said: "Each one of
you is a caretaker (ra'iy) and is responsible for those under his care."
(Reported by
al-Bukhari and Muslim.) "Wasting
the sustenance of his dependents is sufficient sin for a man." (Reported by Abu Daoud, al-Nisai, and al-Hakim) "Allah will ask every caretaker (ra'iy) about
the people under his care, and the man will be asked concerning the people of his
household." (Reported by
Ahmad, al-Nisai, and Abu Daoud)
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It is obligatory for a
father to treat all his children equally especially in the matter of giving gifts.
Accordingly, he is prohibited from bestowing more favors on some of his children than on
others without any necessity or valid reason, since this will produce jealousy and may
even arouse enmity and hatred among them. This applies equally to the mother. The Prophet
(peace be on him) said, 'Do justice
among your sons,' and repeated it thrice. (Reported by Muslim, Ahmad, and Abu Daoud)
The story behind this hadith is that the wife of
Bashir bin Sa'd al-Ansari requested her husband to give a gift of a garden or a slave to
her son, al-Nu'man bin Bashir. She asked Bashir to go to the Prophet (peace be on him) and
request him to be a witness. Bashir went to him, saying, "The daughter of such and
such—meaning his wife—has asked me to give a slave to her son." "Does
he have brothers?" the Prophet (peace be on him) asked. "Yes," he replied.
"Did you give the same to each of them?" inquired the Prophet (peace be on him).
"No," said Bashir. The Prophet (peace be on him) then said, "This is not correct, and I can never bear
witness to other than what is just." (Reported by Ibn Hibban in his Sahih.)
Some other ahadith in this regard are as
follows: Do not ask me to be a
witness to injustice. Your children have the right of receiving equal treatment, as you
have the right that they should honor you. (Reported by Abu Daoud)
"Fear Allah and treat your children with equal justice." (Reported by
al-Bukhari and Muslim.)
Imam Ahmad bin Hanbal said that
preferential treatment of a child is permitted if he or she is handicapped while others
are not. (In Al-Mughni, vol. 5, p. 605,
it is stated that special treatment of a child is permissible due to a need, a handicap,
blindness, his or her being from a large family, being engaged in studies, or something of
the sort, as it is aIso permitted to withhold from a child who would spend what he is
given on sinful or wicked things.)
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It is haram for a
father to deprive his children of inheritance, as for example, to deprive the females or
the children of a wife who is not a favorite with him. Likewise, it is haram for
one relative to deprive another eligible relative of his inheritance by means of a trick.
It is Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala Himself, Who, out of His knowledge, wisdom and justice,
has established the distribution of inheritance in order to give each eligible person his
or her share, and He has commanded mankind to remain within the limits of His legislation;
hence, anyone who deviates from His system in the distribution of shares offends his Lord.
Allah Ta'ala has mentioned matters of inheritance in three verses of
the Qur'an. At the end of the first verse He says, ...Your fathers or your sons: you do not know which of them is nearer
to you in benefit. This is an obligation ordained by Allah; indeed, Allah is Knower, Wise. (4:11)
After the second such verse He says, ...Which
is not injurious (to the rightful heirs): a charge from Allah, and Allah is Knowing,
Forbearing. Those are the limits of Allah, and whoever obeys Allah and His Messenger, He
will admit him to Gardens beneath which rivers flow, to abide therein, and that is the
supreme achievement. But whoever disobeys Allah and His Messenger and transgresses His
limits, He will admit him to Fire, to abide therein, and he shall have a humiliating
punishment. (4:12-14)
And at the end of the third such verse He says, ...Allah makes clear to you (His laws) so that you do not err; and
Allah has knowledge of all things. (4:176)
Accordingly, whoever disobeys Allah's laws of inheritance has deviated
from the just course made plain by Him, transgressing His limits, and must expect the
punishment promised him: ...the
Fire, to abide therein, and his shall be a humiliating punishment. (4:14)
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It is the right of parents
that their children should treat them with kindness, obedience, and honor. Devotion to
parents is a natural instinct which must be strengthened by deliberate actions. The rights
of the mother are stressed the more because of her suffering during pregnancy and
childbirth, her suckling of the child, and her role in rearing it. In the words of Allah
Ta'ala: And We have enjoined on man
kindness to his parents. His mother carries him in pain and she gives birth to him in
pain, and (the period) of carrying him and weaning him is thirty months....(46:15)
Once a man came to the Prophet
(peace be on him) and asked, 'Who is most deserving of my good companionship?' 'Your
mother,' replied the Prophet (peace be on him). 'Who next?' the man asked. 'Your mother,'
replied the Prophet (peace be on him). 'Who next?' he asked. 'Your mother,' replied the
Prophet (peace be on him). 'Who next?' asked the man. 'Your father,' replied the Prophet.
(Reported by al-Bukhari and Muslim.)
The Prophet (peace be on him)
declared disobedience to parents to be a major sin, second only to ascribing partners to
Allah, as has been stated in the Qur'an. Al-Bukhari and Muslim report his saying,
'Shall I not inform you about the three major
sins?' Those who were present replied, 'Yes, O Messenger of Allah.' He said 'Associating
partners with Allah and disobedience to parents,' and sitting up from the reclining
position, he continued, 'and telling lies and false testimony; beware of it.'
He also said, "Three persons shall not enter the Garden: the one who is
disobedient to his parents, the pimp, and the woman who imitates men.''
(Reported by al-Nisai, al-Bazzar on the authority of excellent transmitters, and
al-Hakim)
and, "Allah
defers (the punishment of) all sins to the Day of Resurrection excepting disobedience to
parents, for which Allah punishes the sinner in this life before his death."(Reported by
al-Hakim, on the authority of sound
transmitters.)
Moreover, Islam emphasizes treating
parents kindly, especially when they grow old. As their strength fails, they require more
attention and care, and more consideration of their even more sensitive feelings.
Concerning this the Qur'an says, Thy
Lord hath decreed that you worship none but Him and that you be kind to parents. If one or
both of them attain old age with thee, do not say a word of annoyance (Literally, "Do not say Uff! (an
expression of annoyance) to them." (Trans.)) to them nor repulse them, but speak to them in gracious words and in mercy
lower to them the wing of humility and say, My Lord, bestow Thy mercy othem, as they
cherished me when I was little....(17:23-24)
In explaining this verse, a commentator says, "If a lesser thing than saying
'Uff!'
tparents were known to Allah, He would have prohibited (even that)."
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In addition to the
foregoing, the Prophet (peace be on him) not only prohibited insulting or cursing one's
parents but declared it to be a major sin. He said, 'Among the major sins is a man's cursing his parents.' The people who
were present wondered how a sane and believing individual could curse his own parents, and
enquired, 'How is it possible for a man to curse his own parents?' The Prophet (peace be
on him) replied, 'He insults another man's father, and then the other insults his father,
and he insults the other's mother, and the other returns the insult to his mother.'
(Reported by al-Bukhari and Muslim.)
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Pleasing one's parents is
considered so important in Islam that the son is forbidden to volunteer for jihad without
his parent's permission, in spite of the fact that fighting in the cause of Allah (jihad
fi sabeel Allah) has such great merit in Islam that the merit of a person who spends
his nights in prayer and his days in fasting falls short of it.
Narrated 'Abdullah bin 'Amr bin al-'As, A man came to the Prophet (peace be on him) and asked his permission to
go for jihad. The Prophet (peace be on him) asked, 'Are your parents living?'
'Yes,' he replied. The Prophet (peace be on him) then said, 'Then strive in their
service,' (Reported by al-Bukhari
and Muslim.) meaning that taking care of parents is a
greater obligation than '`had in the cause of Allah.
'Abdullah also narrated, A man came to the Prophet (peace be on him) and said, 'I take the oath
of allegiance to you for hijrah (emigration to Medinah) and jihad, seeking
reward from Allah.' The Prophet (peace be on him) enquired whether either of his parents
were living. On his replying that both of them were, the Prophet (peace be on him) said,
'Are you (really) seeking reward from Allah?' 'Yes,' the man said. The Prophet (peace be
on him) then said, 'Go back to your parents and be a good companion to them.'(Reported by Muslim.)
'Abdullah further narrated, A man came to the Prophet (peace be on him) and said, 'I have
come to swear allegiance to you for hijrah, and I have left my parents weeping.'
The Prophet (peace be on him) said to him, 'Return to them and make them laugh as you made
them weep.' (Reported by al-Bukhari
and others.)
Abu Sa'id reported that A man from Yemen migrated to Madinah to be with
the Prophet (peace be on him). The Prophet (peace be on him) asked him, 'Do you have any
relatives in Yemen?' He answered, 'My parents.' 'Did you get their permission?' the
Prophet (peace be on him) asked. On his replying that he did not, the Prophet (peace be on
him) told him, 'Go back to them and ask their permission. If they agree to it, go on jihad.
Otherwise stay and serve them.'
(Reported by Abu Daoud.)
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It is one of the beauties of
Islam that, with respect to the treatment of parents, it forbids the Muslim to be
disrespectful to them even if they should be non-Muslims who are fanatical to the point of
arguing with him and putting pressure on him to renounce Islam. Says Allah
Ta'ala: ...Be grateful to Me and to thy parents; to Me is
(the final) goal. But if they strive to compel thee to associate with Me that of which
thou hast no knowledge, do not obey them; but keep company with them in this life in a
kind manner and follow the way of those who turn to Me. Then to Me will be your return and
I will inform you (of the meaning of) all that you did. (31:14-15)
In these two verses the Muslim is commanded not to obey his parents in
what they try to tell him to do in this regard, since there cannot be obedience to a
creature in sin against the Creator—and what sin could be greater than associating
partners with Allah? At the same time, he is commanded to treat them honorably in this
world, unaffected by their stand against his faith, and to follow the path of those
righteous Believers who turn to Allah and to leave the judgement between himself and his
parents to the Most Just of Judges, on a Day when the parents will not be able to benefit
the child nor the child the parent. Indeed, such tolerant and beneficent teachings are not
to be found in any other religion.
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