Polygamy
Missionaries and orientalists treat the subject of polygamy as if it were
one of the rites of Islam, or one of its duties, or at least a desirable
practice in Islam. This is an inaccuracy or a misconception. The overwhelming
norm of marriage, for a Muslim, is to marry one woman to be his solace,
the joy of his heart, the keeper of his house, and the one to trust with
his secrets. Thus, quietude, love, and mercy, the foundation of married
life according to the Qur'an, would support them. Therefore, the learned
say, "It is disliked for a man who has a wife who is chaste and modest
and who is enough for him to marry another. This will subject him to what
is forbidden." The Almighty says: "You will never
be able to do perfect justice between wives even if it is your ardent desire,
so do not incline too much to one of them (by
giving her more of your time and provision) so
as to leave the other hanging (i.e. neither
divorced nor married)". [Surah 4:129]
The Prophet (blessings and peace be upon him) said, "The
man who had two wives and was inclined towards one of them will come on
the Day of Judgement bent to one side". [
Transmitted by Abu Dawud - his own wording - (3133), Al Termithy (1141), A-Nisa'i, 7/63, Ibn Majah (1969),
Al-Doramy p.539, and Ahmad, 2/347, 471.
All on the authority of Abu Huraira.] As for the man who is unable to sustain a second wife, or who is
afraid of not being fair [
The obligatory fairness is to treat them equally in maintenance,
clothing and housing. He is forbidden to go to the one on the night devoted
to the other except out of expedience such as a crisis or grave illness.
He is also forbidden to go there in the day time except for necessity such
as a visit for a harmless illness, or to inquire about a certain matter
he needs. If he does not stay long, there is no expiation because it is
a slight matter. If he stays or has his lust consumed, he should expiate
by going to the one he treated unfairly and staying at her place the same
time he stayed with the first woman. That is what is decided as an elucidation
of the obligatory justice.] to both of them, it is for bidden for him to marry another. The Almighty
says:" but if you fear that you shall not be able
to deal justly (with them),
then only one". [Surah 4:3]
Though it preferable for a man to have only one wife to avoid slips and
out of fear of troubles in this world as well as punishment on the Day
of Judgement, there are other humane considerations for the individual
and society-which we will mention-that made Islam allow the Muslim to marry
more than one wife. This is because Islam is the religion which conforms
to sound naturalness and treats reality with out escape, exaggeration or
fantasy.
Some people talk about polygamy as if Islam was the first to permit it.
This is incorrect and a dismissal of history.
Many nations and religions before Islam had allowed marrying a great number
of women, tens of them, even a hundred, without any conditions or limitations.
The Old Testament mentioned that David had three hundred women and that
Solomon had seven hundred, some of whom were wives, while others were concubines.
With the advent of Islam, a condition and a limitation were laid on polygamy.
The limitation made the maximum number of wives four. Ghilan Ibn Salma
became a Muslim while he had ten women, so the Prophet (blessings and peace
be upon him) said to him, "Choose four of them and
leave (divorce)
the others". [
Transmitted by Al-Termithy (1128) and Ibn Majah (1953) On the authority
of Ibn 'Umar] The
same thing happened to those who embraced Islam while having eight or five
wives; they were ordered by the Prophet (blessings and peace be upon him)
not to keep more than four.
As for the marriage of the Prophet (blessings and peace be upon him) to
nine women, it was something restricted and specified by Allah for him
for the Islamic call and for the nation's need of them after his passing
away. He lived most of his life with one wife, Khadijah, may Allah be pleased
with her. That was a glorification by Allah of the Prophet's wives, who
chose the way of Allah, His Prophet (blessings and peace be upon him) and
the afterlife. Therefore, Allah forbade him to marry any others nor to
choose another instead of one of his wives. The Almighty says: "It
is not lawful for you (to marry other) women
after this, nor to change them for other wives even though their beauty
attracts you". [Surah 33:52]
As for the condition set forth by Islam for polygamy, it is the self-confidence
of the Muslim to be fair in his treatment to his two wives in food, drink,
clothing, housing and sustenance. If one is not sure of his ability to
fulfil such duties equitably and fairly, he is forbidden to marry more
than one wife. Allah says: " But if you fear that
you shall not be able to deal justly (with
them), then only one". [Surah 4:3]
The
Prophet (blessings and peace be upon him) said, "Whoever
has two wives and is more inclined towards one of them, he will come on
the Day of Judgement dragging one of his sides while it is drooping". [
Transmitted by Abu Dawud - his own wording (3133), Al-Termithy (1141), Al-Nisa'i, 7/63, Ibn Majah (1969),
Al-Doramy p.539, and Ahmad, 2/347, 471.
All on the authority of Abu Huraira.] The inclination which the Hadith warns us of takes place when he overlooks
her rights and not when he merely inclines in feelings toward her, which
is part of the equity that is not possible and which is forgiven by Allah.
The Almighty says: " You will never be able to do
perfect justice between wives even if it is your ardent desire, so do not
incline too much to one of them (by giving
her more of your time and provision)". [Surah 4:129]
For this reason, the Prophet (blessings and peace be upon him) used to
divide equitably between his wives and say, "Allah,
that is my division as it is in my power to do so. Do not blame me for
what You have and I have not. [
Transmitted by Abu Dawud (2134), Al-Termithy (1140), Ibn Majah (1971), Al-Doramy Book of Marriage p.540, and Ahmad 6/144 on the authority of
isha.] By
what he had not got , he meant feelings and inclination towards
one of them in particular. Whenever he used to travel, he turned to drawing
lots; the one whose arrow appeared would accompany him. He resorted to
that in order to avoid jealousy and to satisfy them all.
Islam is the last word of Allah by which all His messages are concluded
(sealed). Therefore, it came with a general and eternal Law to embrace
all nations, all ages and all people. Islam has not made laws for the urban
while overlooking the rural, nor for the cold regions and not the hot ones,
or vice versa; nor for a certain age while ignoring the rest of the ages
and the other generations. Islam appreciates the importance of individuals
as well as communities.
A man could have a strong desire to have children but find him self married
to a wife who is childless because of infertility or illness, or any other
reason. Would it not be more respectable and better for her if he married
another to realise his wish while at the same time keeping the first and
ensuring her rights?
Some men are more sexual and lusty, but one could be married to a wife
who has little desire for men, or who is ill or has a long period of menstruation
or whatever. She does not satisfy the desire of his instinct nor fill his
lustful eyes that seek other women. Would he not be allowed to marry another
in a lawful manner instead of seeking another as a mistress, or instead
of divorcing the first one?
In addition, the number of eligible women for marriage might be more than
the men able to marry, especially after wars that deplete the best of men
and youth. It might be in the interest of the society and the women themselves
who would prefer being second wives than living as spinsters all their
lives, deprived of married life and what it has of quietude, love and protection,
deprived of the bliss of the motherhood their instincts call for. There
are only three ways for these surplus women:
1 - to spend their whole life feeling the bitterness of deprivation of
married life and of motherhood, which is a severe punishment for them as
they did not commit any crime.
2- or give them some freedom to follow their instincts and accept the means
of pleasure with corrupt men who, after satisfying their desires, cast
them away when their bloom and youth are gone. This is in addition to what
might happen afterwards of begetting illegitimate children, increasing
the number of fatherless children deprived of physical and psychological
rights who become unproductive citizens and tools of destruction and corruption.
3- or to allow them each to marry a married man who is able to sustain
and protect her, confident of his fairness as Allah Almighty has commanded.
Doubtless, this last alternative is the ideal, fair solution and a curing
balm. That is what Islam has decreed: "And who is
better in judgement than Allah for a people who have firm Faith". [Surah 5:50]
The system of polygamy according to Islamic Law is a moral, human system.
It is moral because it does not allow man to have intercourse with any
woman he wishes, at any time he likes. He is not allowed to have intercourse
with more than three women in addition to his (first) wife, and he cannot
do that secretly, but must proceed with a contract and announce it, even
among a limited audience. The people in charge of the woman should know
about this lawful intercourse and agree to it or at least should not object
to it. It should be registered-according to the modern system-in a specialised
court for marriage contracts. It is desirable to have a special dinner
for the occasion in which the man invites his friends. Dufoof (hand drums)
may be played to express utmost joy and hospitality.
It is human because through it a man lessens the burdens of the community
by sheltering a woman who has no husband and transforms her to a chosen,
protected wife. It is also human because he justifies his sexual intercourse
based on a legal marriage for which the bridegroom provides a dower, furniture
and expenses. Also of social benefit is the establishment of a social unit
(family) capable of producing working progeny. It is also human because
he is not only responsible for the woman with whom he has intercourse,
but he is responsible when she suffers from the troubles of pregnancy.
He does not leave her to bear it alone, but he bears a part of it by paying
for her sustenance and expenses during her pregnancy and for her delivery.
It is also that he recognizes the children begotten through sexual intercourse
and presents them to the society as the fruits of a noble and honourable
love, which are cherished by him and will be by the society in the future.
Dr Mustafa El-Siba'i, may Allah have mercy on him, said of the system of
polygamy, "Man distributes and lessens his lust to a certain extent, but
he multiplies his burdens, troubles and responsibilities to an unlimited
extent." Certainty, it is a moral system protecting morals, and it is a
human system honouring mankind.
How different the Islamic system is from the actual promiscuity in the
life of the Western society! One Western writer insisted that no one on
his death-bed could confess to the priest that he had not had intercourse
with a woman (other than his wife) at least once in his life-time. This
promiscuity of the West is without a law; moreover, it occurs while the
law stands by. It does not happen in the name of wives, but in the name
of friendships and mistresses. It is not limited to only four, but is unlimited.
It is not announced in order to be celebrated by the family, but happens
secretly without anyone knowing about it. In addition, it does not commit
the doer to any financial responsibility towards the women he has intercourse
with. Suffice it for him to tarnish their honour and then leave them to
scandal and poverty and to endure the troubles of pregnancy and delivery.
Besides, he is not committed to recognise the children begotten as the
outcome of the intercourse. They are considered illegitimate, bearing the
stigma of being bastard children as long as they live.
It is a legal promiscuity, but it is not called "polygamy". It is void
of any moral behaviour, awakening of sensibility or human feeling. It is
a promiscuity directed by lust and selfishness which flees from any responsibility.
Which of the two systems then is closer to morality, more allaying to lust,
more honourable to women, more denotative of progress and more righteous
to humanity? [
See Women Between Jurisprudence and Law (Al-Mara'ah baina al-Fiquh wal-Qann)
by Dr Mustafa El-Sibai. See also The Liberation of Woman in the Period
of the Messenger (Tahrir al-Mara'ah fe Asr Al-Resalah) by Abd Al-Haleem
Abu Shaqqah, fifth part.]
We do not deny that many Muslims have abused the license of polygamy as
decreed by Allah in the same way they have abused the license of divorce,
as explained earlier. The failure is not in the Law itself but in the application
due to misunderstanding, ill manners, or lack of the teachings of the religion.
We have seen some men marry more than one when the man is not certain of
his fairness, which is a condition set by Allah for marrying another. Some
of them marry more than one when they are unable to sustain both nor, in
addition, what follows the marriage, i.e. children and responsibilities.
Some men are able to sustain more but are unable to protect them.
Frequently, the abuse of this right leads to harmful consequences for the
family as a result of pampering the new wife and treating the old one unfairly.
He could totally end his inclination towards her until she is left hanging
in the air, so to speak, neither married nor divorced. This frequently
leads to envy among children who belong to one father because he is not
fair to them in their rights, nor does he treat them equally in moral and
financial dealings.
Whatever the transgression of some people in that realm, it will never
reach the evil to which the Westerners have lowered themselves by considering
the moral polygamy a crime while allowing the immoral promiscuity. (However,
polygamy is longer a problem in most Muslim societies, as marriage to one
woman has now become a great problem.)
Unfortunately, some people calling for Westernisation in our Arab and Islamic
countries have made use of what has happened because of the Muslims who
transgress; they raise their voices asking for polygamy to be abolished
completely. Day and night the disadvantages of polygamy are reiterated
while silence is kept about the disadvantages of adultery and fornication,
which is, unfortunately, allowed by local laws which rule over Muslim states
nowadays. The mass media, especially films and serials, have played a serious
role in spreading repulsive feelings toward polygamy, among women in particular,
so that some of them would tolerate the husband when he commits adultery
but not when he marries another.
Such advocates have succeeded in some Arab and Islamic countries, and laws
have been issued forbidding what God has ordained and made lawful, thus
allowing the laws of the West. There are still others who call for these
changes in other countries.
The incredible thing in this case is they want to justify their system
of polygamy in the name of Islamic Law and have proofs in the form of jurisprudence.
They have objected it is the right of the person in authority to prevent
what is allowed when it is in the interest of the people, or to avoid harm.
Such a pretext is unacceptable by Islamic Law. Some have even gone so far
as to attempt, in a rude and audacious way, to use the Qur'an to justify
their claims. The Qur'an has put a condition for the man who marries more
than one to be sure of his fair treatment of the two (or more) wives,
and whoever is afraid of not being fair should keep only one. Allah says:
"And if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the orphan-girls,
then many (other) women
of your choice, two or three, or four but if you fear that you shall not
be able to deal justly (with them),
then only one". [Surah 4:3]
This is the Qur'an's condition for polygamy-fairness. However, the Quran,
they claim, has clarified in another verse in the same Surah that the conditioned
fairness is not possible, in the verse: "You will
never be able to do perfect justice between wives even if it is your ardent
desire, so do not incline too much to one of them (by giving her
more of your time and provision)". [Surah 4:129]
Therefore, it is claimed, this verse has negated the previous one In fact,
all the evidence which is being used is false and cannot stand sound criticism.
Each will be discussed.
The claim that polygamy has caused social and familial corruption and detriment
is an open fallacy; Islamic Law cannot permit something which will do harm;
likewise, it does not forbid something of benefit. This is expressed in
the Qur'an in the most eloquent and comprehensive phrases with the description
of the Messenger (blessings and peace be upon him), and addressing the
people of the Book (i.e., the Jews and Christians). "He
commands
them for Al-Ma'ruf (i.e. islamic Monotheism and all that Islam has ordained);
and forbids them from Al-Munkar (i.e.disbelief
polytheism of all kinds, and all that Islam has forbidden);
he allows them as lawful At-Tayyibat [(all
i.e. good and lawful) as regards things deeds,
beliefs, persons, foods etc] ,
and prohibits them as unlawful Al-Khabaith (all
i.e. evil and unlawful as regards things, deeds, beliefs, persons, foods
etc.), he releases
them from their heavy burdens (of Allah's
Covenant), and from the fetters (bindings)
that were upon them. [Surah 7: 157]
All that is permitted by Islamic Law has pure benefit or benefits which
outweigh harm. All that is forbidden by Islamic Law must have pure harm
or the harms must outweigh the benefits. This is clear in what is said
in the Qur'an about alcohol and gambling: Say, "In
them is great sin, and (some) benefit
for men, but the sin of them is greater than their benefit". [Surah 7:219]
This is also what Islamic Law has provided for in polygamy, as it balances
interests and corrupting matters, benefits and harms.
It permits what the individual needs and is able to do as long as he is
sure of his fairness, and is not afraid of being unjust or having a greater
inclination towards one of them: "but if you fear
that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them),
then
only one". [Surah 4:3]
It may be in the interest of the first wife to be the sole one on the throne
of marriage without any rivals, and she sees that she will be harmed by
the presence of another wife; but it is also in
the interest of the husband to marry another to protect him from illicit
relationships or bring him an awaited-for child, etc.; moreover it may
also be in the interest of the second wife to have someone take care of
her.
To have half a husband, to live under his protection and be in his charge
may be better than living as a spinster, widow or divorcee, in deprivation.
It is also in the interest of society to protect its men and women by legitimate
marriage-in which each of them bears the responsibility for himself or
herself and the spouse and for what Allah may give them of children-that
is, instead of promiscuity, allowing the multiplicity of mistresses, which
is immoral and inhuman, and in which each has the pleasure of a companion
without any responsibility for what follows, even if a child is born of
that illicit relationship. In turn, the child is then considered a wild
plant without a father to belong to, or a family to give him love and compassion
or a heredity to cherish.
Which harms should
be avoided then? On the other hand, Islamic Law has reserved the first
wife's right to equity between herself and the second wife concerning maintenance,
housing, clothing and staying at her place. That is the equity put as a
condition for polygamy. It is true that some husbands do not observe the
justice commanded by Allah, but the misapplication does not mean the basic
principle should be cancelled; otherwise the whole of Islamic Law and all
other laws would be abolished. Adherence of the law should be enforced.
As to the claim that the person in authority has the right to prevent some
of what is allowed, we have the following to say: what the Law has given
to the person in authority is the right to limit some of what is permitted
for a weighty interest at some times, or in some cases, or for certain
people. He should not generally or utterly prevent it forever because that
would be like forbidding, which is only Allah's right, denied by the Qur'an
to the People of the Book. "They (Jews and
Christians) took their rabbis and their monks to
be their lords besides Allah by obeying them in things which they made
lawful or unlawful according to their own desires without being ordered
by Allah". [Surah 9:31]
The Hadith came to interpret the verse, "They allowed
for them and forbade them and thus followed them". [ Transmitted
by Al-Termithy on the authority of Adeyy ibn Hatim in the interpretation
sections (3095) and by lbn Jarir in his interpretation section (16631). Al-Termithy said this Hadith is ghareeb (i.e., it has only one transmitter),
but in the section about Hudhaifa, it is mauqf (i.e., it was narrated by
the Companions, not by the Prophet [blessings and peace be upon him]) and
transmitted by Al-Tabary (16634).]
To limit what is allowed is like preventing the slaughter of animals on
certain days to lessen their consumption, as happened at the time of `Umar,
may Allah be pleased with him; or like preventing excess cultivation of
a certain crop so cultivation space will not encroach upon the space attributed
to growing grains and other nutritious crops that are staple foods for
the people. It is also similar to preventing the highest ranks of military
officers or diplomats from marrying foreigners for fear of leaking state
secrets through women to the enemies. It is also like preventing men from
marrying a Christian or a Jew out of fear that it would affect Muslim women,
especially in the communities that have small Islamic minorities and limited
Muslim expatriates.
But to come to something allowed by Allah in His Book and mentioned by
His Prophet (blessings and peace be upon him), established in the state,
such as divorce or polygamy, and to prevent it utterly and forever is considered
something different from limiting what is allowed according to the examples
given.
The meaning of You will never be able to do perfect justice between wives. [Surah 4:129]
As to the illustration from the Glorious Qur'an, it is wholly rejected.
It is a corruption of the order of words and carries within it an accusation
against the Prophet Mohammed (greetings and peace be upon him) and his
companions (may Allah be pleased with them), implying they did not understand
the Qur'an, or maybe that they did but intentionally deviated from its
precept. The verse quoted to illustrate the point also gives an answer
if the meaning is perused; Almighty Allah has allowed polygamy on the condition
of fairness, then highlights the fairness needed in the same chapter when
He says: " You will never be able to do perfect justice
between wives even if it is your ardent desire, so do not incline too much
to one of them (by giving her more of your
time and provision) so as to leave the other
hanging (i.e. neither divorced nor married)".
[Surah 4:129]
This verse indicates that complete and absolute justice between women is
impossible due to the nature of the human being because complete justice
requires equity between them in everything, even in the inclination of
the heart and in sexual desire, and that cannot be controlled by the man.
He may love one more than the other, incline towards one more than another.
Hearts are controlled and turned by Allah in the way He likes.
Therefore, the Prophet (blessings and peace be upon him) used to say after
dividing between his women the apparent affairs of maintenance, clothing
and spending nights, "Allah, that is my division
as it is in my power to do so. So not blame me for what You have and I
have not". [
Transmitted by Abu Dawud (2134), Al-Termithy (1140), Ibn Majah (1971) Al-Doramy
Book of Marriage p.154; and Ahmad 61144 on the authority of - isha]
He meant the heart's inclination. It is this inclination in which one cannot
be fair that Allah has pardoned, as the Almighty does not rebuke man for
something beyond his ability when it is not in his power to do it.
Therefore the noble verse says: "You will never be
able to do pefect justice between wives even if it is your ardent desire,
so do not incline too much to one of them (by giving her more of
your time and provision) so as to leave the other
suspended (i.e. neither divorced nor married)".
[Surah 4:129]
What is understood from this verse is that some inclination, which is the
emotional inclination, is forgivable.
The amazing thing is that some Arab countries adopt the forbiddance of
polygamy, though in their legislation they do not forbid adultery, except
in certain cases when one is forced (rape), or in the case of the woman's
marital infidelity if the husband does not drop the charge. Adultery is
described by Allah as a great sin: "And come not
near to the unlawful sexual intercourse. Verily, it is a fahshah
(a great sin), and an evil way". [Surah 17:32]
I came to know through the great Imam Sheikh `Abd Al Haleem Mahmud, may
Allah have mercy on his soul, that a Muslim living in an African-Arab country
which had laws against polygamy secretly married another wife through a
legitimate conventional contract, abiding by all its conditions except
that it was not authenticated. This is because the country's established
law refused to authenticate or admit it and considered such a marriage
a crime for which he would have to be punished. The man used to frequent
the house of his (second) wife, so the police watched him and came to assume
that she was his wife and that he had committed an offence against the
law. One night they waited for him, arrested him at his wife's place and
took him to court accusing him of marrying a second wife.
The man was clever and asked those interrogating him, "But who told you
she is my wife? She is not a wife. She is a mistress whom I took as a companion
and I call on from time to time " The interrogators were taken aback and
told the man very politely, "We are awfully sorry for the misunderstanding.
We thought she was a wife and did not know she was a companion." Thereupon,
they released him because, to them, to have the illicit company of a woman
as a mistress to commit adultery with is considered within the framework
of personal freedom protected by the law.
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