We need to
remember that our children are a big amanah (trust) from Allah (SWT). Every
child is a potential member of this ummah. So how we build them up is very
important. Very likely they will reflect tomorrow what we put into them today;
one day we will reap what we have sown. If we ameliorate their nurturing, they
will ameliorate their reciprocation. So the first growth stages of our
children are the most important years. There is an Arabic saying: Learning in
the first stages of life is like carving on stones, while learning in the
later years is like drawing on water.
Regarding hijab for children, first of all we have to have
very clear knowledge about a child's dress code.
Scholars say that Hijab is not fard or obligatory for girls at their
early ages; it becomes fard when they reach puberty.
The Prophet
(peace and blessings be upon him) said to Asma', daughter of Abu Bakr (may
Allah be pleased with them): "O Asma'! Once a girl reaches puberty, nothing of
her body may be seen (by non-mahrams) except this and these, (he
pointed to his face and hands while saying so)."
Islamic scholars also say that it is haraam (prohibited) to dress a child in
clothes that adults are forbidden to wear. Clothes with images are forbidden
for adults, so it is also haraam to dress children in them.
Though hijab
is not a must for younger girls, we have to take the advantage of early years
to make them familiar with the hijab culture. It is not as easy as it sounds.
The following tips can help us in this regard:
Introduce
children with hijab culture at early age: Parents must take advantage of the early stages of their
children's lives. If we lose these days of their childhood innocence, we
will lose our best chance to achieve certain goals with our children. Do not
think she will do it when she reaches the age. Tell her that we are Muslim
and we have a unique identity, we must follow Allah and Prophet (SAWS) in
all aspects of life, our dress style included. As Muslim we can't dress like
others, we have to follow our own dress code. The recommended age for trying
hijab could be 7/8. You may try it bit later if you find that convenient for
your child.
Give them book with hijab pictures:
Children like to listen to stories from books and enjoy colorful
illustrations thereof. They try to copy the characters of pictures. So books
with pictures of hijab donned girls will make them familiar with hijab
culture and engender an aspiration to have hijab in her mind.
Do not
impose, don't be rigid:
Youngsters should be encouraged to have hijab, but it is not yet incumbent
upon them to do so. So we should not be very rigid, and should not impose it
on them. We need to remember they do not like to do things that are forced
upon them. If they don't want to wear hijab, try to make them understand and
offer them something they like. When they do follow, give them some form of
positive reinforcement like a hug, a kiss on the forehead, etc.
Take time
to make them understand:
Do not expect that children will follow your every word all the time. They
have their own choices and personalities, although they are in their early
ages. So be patient and take time. Persuade them when they are in a mood to
listen to you.
Treat
them according to their nature:
All children are not of similar type. Even the nature of siblings differs.
So when you approach them with hijab, do it according to their nature. Some
may listen to you immediately, some may not. Try to read their mind why they
are opposing and then take measures to remove the obstacles.
Do not
hurt them: Some
children may show very negative attitude which may irritate and outrage you.
Show your dissatisfaction, but not anger. Hurting their feelings may make
them more stubborn.Do not accuse them, do not scold
them or yell at them, as that will only drive them away.
Make the
hijab comfortable and desirable for them: Consider
the colour of the hijab you present before them; if the child likes this or
not; whether the material of the cloth is comfortable and suits the weather.
In summer use light scarf and in winter it should be bit heavy.
Try
to make them smart and nice looking: Children
at this age are very fashion sensitive. So choose nice hijab, and help them
to put it on in such a way so that they look smart.
In
choosing hijab consider the surrounding culture:
Hijab does not mean a particular dress, rather it is a dress code. So try to
cope up with indigenous culture. Don't choose a dress which is odd in your
surrounding. It may create a negative notion in your child's mind and in
those of her friends about Islam.
Let your
children mix with other girls with hijab:
Friendship is very important in this regard. Help your child to build
relationship with other hijab donned girls. Visit their house and also
invite them on several occasions. Discourage them to mix up with girls from
very open families at this very early age because they pickup things very
quickly and without giving a good thought.
Finally we have to make
du‘aa' or supplication for our children: ‘O our Sustainer! Grant that our spouses and our offspring
be a joy to our eyes, and cause us to be foremost among those who are
conscious of You!' (Surah Al-Furqan, verse 74)