Children

from "Al-Minhaj Al-Qawim `ala al-Muqaddimah al-Hadramiyyah"
(a standard text of the Shafi`i school)

Naming children
The Kunyah
Islamic Education and Upbringing of Children

Naming Children

It is sunnah to keep a good name , and the best of names are Abdullah (Slave of Allah) and AbdulRahman (Slave of the Most Merciful) and the most truthful are al-Haarith (Productive) and Humaam (Active), and the worst are Harb (War) and Murrah (Bitter).
[The most beloved of names to Allah (the Exalted the Majestic) are Abdullah and AbdulRahman -reported by Muslim Abu Dawud added : and the most truthful are al-Haarith and Humaam, and the worst are Harb and Murrah]

And bad names, and those which signify bad things by their absence, are makrooh (disliked), such as NujayH (Successful), Barakah (Blessing), Kulayb (Dog), Harb (War), Murrah (Bitter), Shihab (Meteor), Himar (Donkey), AflaH (Most Successful), Yasaar (Ease), RabaaH (Profit) and Naafi` (Beneficial), and names like Sittun-nisaa (Lady of all ladies) are more reprehensible. And 'King of Kings' is forbidden, as is 'Shahenshah', and AqDal-quDaat (judge of judges).

And it is mandoob (preferred) to change bad names and those which signify bad things by their absence. And it is preferred (mandoob) for a man's son, pupil and servant not to call him by his name, and that good people (men and women) should have kunyah, even if they don't have a son, and that the kunyah is according to the eldest son, and it is forbidden (Haram) to have the kunyah of AbulQasim for one whose name is Muhammad as well as for others, during the life of the Prophet (s.a.w.) as well as thereafter.
{NOTE (inserted): There is some difference among schools of thought on this point- some have held that the prohibition applied only during the lifetime of the Prophet (s.a.w.)}

And a transgressor (faasiq) or innovator should not be given kunyah unless there is fear of fitnah, or if it is for recognition, (like Abu Lahab). And it is preferred that a person should not use his kunyah alone (i.e. without including his name as well), unless he is well known by his kunyah and not known by anything besides it. And it is forbidden (Haraam) to nickname somebody by that which he dislikes if he is known by some other name (which he does not dislike), even if the nickname reflects something about him which is true.

The Kunyah

Evidence was requested that to have a kunyah is sunnah. There are several allusions to this in the aHadeeth. Firstly, the Prophet (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) had a kunyah, and there is no evidence that to have a kunyah was exclusively for him, and this suggests that it is a sunnah (following the Prophet in something which was not exclusivley for him (may Allah bless him and grant him peace)). Then there is the Hadeeth to name people by the Prophet's name (Muhammad) but not by his kunyah (AbulQasim), which again implicitly suggests that we would be naming people with a kunyah. Further, there is a Hadeeth reported in Tirmidhi's "al-Shama'il" in which the Prophet (s.a.w.) called a young boy by a kunyah, showing that it is not necessary to have a child before taking on a kunyah. Further discussion of these ahadeeth can be found in FatH-al-Baaree (commentary of SaHeeH al-Bukhari).

Islamic Education / Upbringing of Children

"O you who believe! Save yourselves and your families from a fire, the fuel of which is mankind and stones. Over it are angels, harsh and severe, who do not disobey Allah in that which He commands them, and they do what they are ordered." [Qur'an, 66:6]
"Save yourselves and your families," meaning : teach them the good and educate/discipline them. [as explained by `Ali; reported by Ibn al-Mundhir and al-Hakim (who authenticated it)]
Ibn `Abbas said : Implement obedience to Allah, keep away from acts of disobedience to Allah, and order your families to remember Allah, so that Allah might deliver you from the Fire.
Qatadah said : Order them to obey Allah, and prohibit them from disobeying Allah. Preside over them with the decree of Allah, and assist them in fulfilling it. When you see them disobeying Allah, reprimand and restrain them.

Brothers, and sisters, many of us perhaps had at least somewhat of an Islamic upbringing, perhaps growing up in a Muslim country, and hence we may not fully realize how great is the danger in which children are growing up in this country. Sending them to a public school, with merely a few hours of Islamic 'Sunday school' weekly (and how many do not get even that?), will more often than not fall far short of meeting their spiritual requirements and fulfilling the duty which the parents owe to them. If, throughout the week, they are in the morally, spiritually and ethically decadent and bankrupt environment at school, this is obviously going to have a profoundly devastating effect on their upbringing, and in particular on their faith (iman), especially when one adds to this the influence of television and the like. We cannot be so silly as to not take any precautions, nor make any effort to save our children from the evils of the society, and then still naively hope that, somehow, they will grow up as good, practicing Muslims, immune to the corruption, fornication, drugs and other sins around them.
"And man shall have only that for which he strives." [Surah al-Najm]

If you cannot preserve, practice and propagate your religion in a land, for even yourself and your children let alone others, then you are not permitted to remain there and must perform hijrah (emigration) if you are able to. Incapacity of this sort is not an excuse; rather it is a crime and a sin.
"Those whose souls the angels take while [the people] are wronging themselves [by abandoning hijrah]; [the angels] say, 'What was the matter with you?' They say, 'We were weak and oppressed in the land.' [The angels] say, 'Was not Allah's land spacious, that you could migrate therein?' So, the abode of those [people] shall be Hell; how terrible an outcome!" [Surah al-Nisa']
Hafiz Ibn Kathir says, "This noble verse was revealed in general terms applying to anyone who takes up residence among the pagans, and is capable of migrating and not capable of establishing his religion, for he is wronging himself and committing a forbidden deed by the consensus (ijma`) [of jurists]." [MTIK, (1/427)]

Indeed, in such an environment, there is a risk of a child losing his faith entirely by falling into blasphemy, polytheism and unbelief. Luqman (may Allah be merciful to him) advised his son,
"O my son! Do not associate partners with Allah! Indeed, <shiRk> (associating partners/inappropriate descriptions to Allah) is a terrible injustice." [Surah Luqman]
Obviously, merely ordering the children not to commit <shiRk> is not enough by itself. We have to adopt the necessary means towards achieving our goal, otherwise we will be 'like one who stretches out his hands to water, in order for it to reach his mouth, but it will not reach it.' [Surah al-Nur] We need to provide the appropriate environment, training and upbringing that facilitate and foster faith, such that the child will automatically recognize and shun unbelief and evil. So, the children should be in an Islamic environment. Perhaps one of the best ways to achieve this is in this country is through an Islamic school, where children can study both worldly and Islamic subjects in a spiritually and morally clean and healthy, Islamic environment. It is up to us, if we are remaining in this country, to set up such schools for our children, and to support them. Don't we owe at least this much to our children? Merely clothing and feeding one's offspring, taking care of their physical needs, is done even by animals. But, as human beings, we have a duty to do more, and we will be questioned about this duty on the Day of Judgement.
"Every one of you is a guardian, and every one of you is liable to be questioned about those in his care. The man is a guardian with regard to his family, and is liable to be questioned about those in his care. The woman is a guardian with respect to her husband's house, and is liable to be questioned about that in her care . . . . So, every one of you is a guardian, and every one of you is liable to be questioned about those in his care." [Bukhari, Muslim]

So, brothers and sisters, save yourselves and your families from a fire, the fuel of which is mankind and stones. Ibn Mas`ud said : they are stones of sulphur, more foul-smelling than corpses.
And, over this fire are angels, harsh and severe.
`Ikrimah has said that when the first of the people of Hell reach the Fire, they will find at its gate 400,000 of the custodians of Hell, with faces dark and teeth scowling. Allah has removed mercy from their hearts, [such that] none of them has even an atom's weight of mercy in his heart. [Reported by Ibn Abi Hatim]

And remember, your effort in this regard will bring its fruits in this world - in the form of your children's well-being, and in the Hereafter - in the form of their salvation, and also in the form of reward for yourselves.
"When the son of Adam dies, his good deeds come to an end, except from three [sources] : perennial charity (sadaqah jariyah), knowledge from which benefit is obtained, and a pious child who prays for him." [Riyad al-Saliheen]

"Those who believe, and whose offspring follow them in faith, We shall unite their offspring with them, and We shall not deprive them of anything of their [good] deeds." [Qur'an, 52:21]