Introduction: Ours is a society that is unkind to women in many cases and it is a Muslim society though. Here the wives are treated almost like chattel in most of the rural areas. In the urban areas also the wives are not safe from the wrath of the cruel husbands though the form of the persecution here is quite different from that in the rural areas. Physical torture and mental torment inflicted by the husbands to their wives is not rare. Hostile treatment of some husbands is reported almost everyday in our local printing media. There are some particular matters (such as dowry, female childbirth, ill fortune of husband etc) with which women have to encounter some bitter experiences. There are some natural phenomena that are beyond the control of the human kind, but wives are held to be responsible for such matters for which neither the husband nor the wife has anything to do. There are some wretched parents in the society who tend to take the eligible son as a means of acquiring money and property by way of matrimonial alliance. And they take a good amount of dowry from the other party. This is the dark picture of our society. As majority of the population of this country is Muslims let us examine the position of Islam about the matters mentioned above. This will pave the way for us to judge our society in the light of Islam.
Dowry: In Islam it is incumbent on the husband to pay the wife a deferential marriage gift that is sine qua non for the marital relation. Allah says, "And give the women (on marriage) their dower as free gift…." (Al-Qur'an: 4:4). Ironically enough we notice a reverse practice in our society where the father of the bride always remains afraid of the greedy demand of his counterpart who triggers a possessive eye to him. The situation has attained at such a stage that to be the parents of an eligible son seems to be a matter of great fortune and honor and to be the parents of an eligible girl has become a matter of financial disadvantage, loss of property and a matter of humiliation.
In the rural area it is seen that situation compels many fathers of daughters to sell their land property or some other assets to satisfy the unscrupulous demand of dowry from the part of groom and his parents. Many parents and brothers of marriageable girls are seen to solicit financial help to give their daughters/ sisters in marriage. Moreover, even a handsome payment of dowry to the husband does not ensure the success of marriage or the happiness of the bride. Because such covetous husbands go on making their demand even after the marriage and take the marital bond a matter devoid of mutual love and respect. Almost everyday we see in the printing media that some wives are persecuted and physically tortured by some reprobate and boorish husbands who pester them to bring in more and more money and property from their parental home. And if the wife disagrees or is unable, in most cases, the result is physical torture or dissolution of marriage and, in few cases, murders.
Bad omen: In many places women are thought to be objects of good or bad omen. If the husband can earn his livelihood well or if everything is OK in the family then the wife is considered a good one and she can lead a normal life and is saved from bad remarks. But if the husband fails to be successful in his pursuits of livelihood or in gaining promotion in job etc. then everyone in the family blames the hard circumstances on the wife and she is marked with the taint of bad omen. Islam teaches us not to believe in any omen let alone woman. Our beloved Prophet (SAWS) says, "There is no infectious disease nor bad omen, but I like good augury. The companions asked him, "What is a good augury?" He (SAWS) answered: A good word. (Bukhari & Muslim) (Riadus-salehin; Hadeeth no. 1674)
It is the strong belief of every Muslim that whatever good or bad befalls us comes from Allah and no human being is liable for an undeserved misfortune and nor any human intervention can change the course of natural happening. We the human beings only pray: "O Allah! From Thee alone comes good and Thou alone can repel evil. There is no strength to resist evil nor power to do good except through Thee." (Abu Daud; Riadus-salehin Hadeeth no.1676) In fact, all power and all goodness are in the hands of Allah. Allah says, "If Allah touches thee with affliction, none can remove it but He; if He touches thee with happiness, He has power over all things" (Al-Qur'an: 6:17). So it is tantamount to blasphemy to blame woman or man for bad luck or ill fortune.
Female childbirth: Another dark reality of our society is that there are many parents who fail to welcome the birth of the female child. Recurrent female childbirth often causes inhuman torture on wives by husband and humiliation by others. There are some couples who take the risk of further issue only to have the chance of having a son and there are some husbands who take more wives only to father a son. They tend to take the matter in such a way that to be a father of son is prestigious and to be a father of a daughter is disgraceful. Childbirth seems to be considered a matter devoid of filial love and affection and sons are thought more useful and beneficial and the daughters are thought burden. Such notion about childbirth was prevalent in many periods of history before the advent of Islam among the pagan Arabs. The Qur'an vehemently condemns such attitude towards daughters and states, "When news is brought to one of them of the birth of a female child his face darkens and he is filled with inward grief. With shame does he hide himself from his people, because of the bad news he has had! Shall he retain it (the female child) on (sufferance) and contempt or bury it in the dust? Ah! What an evil choice they decide on?" (Al-Qur'an: 16:58-9). And it is because of this perverted attitude towards daughters that female infanticide was common among them.
In our society also such negative attitude is prevalent among many parents. And this attitude is conceived in the guise of social plausibility in an implicit way. In the spiritual world (hereafter) the victim herself (dumb here) will be asked to give evidence that she had committed no crime and that she had been innocent. The Qur'an proclaims, "When (in the Day of Judgement) the female infant buried alive is questioned-for what crime she was killed?" (Al-Qur'an: 81:8-9). It indicates that similar thing is supposed to happen in the case of the female child who is underestimated on the ground that she is a girl and not a boy.
It should be made clear that the matter of childbirth is absolutely subjected to the will of Allah (SWT) and no human intervention can change the gender of any issue. Neither the husband nor the wife has anything to do in selecting the gender of the would-be-child. Allah says that "To Allah belongs the dominion of the heavens and earth. He creates what He wills (and plans). He bestows (children) male or female according to His Will (and Plan). Or He bestows both males and females, and He leaves barren whom He wills: For He is full of knowledge and power." (42: 49-50).
The essence of Islamic teachings in this regard is that every parent should be ready to welcome the birth of his/her child without the least discrimination of its sex. Son should not be preferred as human person to daughter. Islam prohibits any sorts of unfairness or inequity between the children on the basis of sex in taking care of them or in giving them affection or gifts. A prophetic tradition is likely to clarify this assertion: Hazrat Nu'man bin Bashir (RAA) says that his father took him to the holy Prophet (SAWS) and said, "I have a slave whom I have gifted to this son of mine." The Prophet (SAWS) inquired: Have you made a similar gift to each of your children? He said: No; whereupon the Holy Prophet (SAWS) said: Then take back (this gift). Another version of this Hadeeth says: The Holy Prophet asked: Have you done this (favor) to each of your children? He answered: No. The Prophet (SAWS) then said: Fear Allah and be fair to your offspring. Nu'man says, "My father then came back and rescinded this gift. Yet another version says that the Prophet (SAWS) asked: O Bashir (Nu'man's father) have you other children beside this one? He answered: Yes. The Prophet then asked: Have you given (a slave) to each of them? He answered: No. The Prophet (SAWS) said: Then do not make me a witness for I do not want to be a witness for an injustice (cruelty). One more version says: Do not make me witness for an injustice.
Another version relates the Hadeeth that the Prophet (SAWS) said, "Do you like that all of your children may behave equally well towards you? My father said: Yes. The Prophet (SAWS) then answered: Then don't do injustices now. (Bukhari and Muslim) (Riadus-salehin Hadeeth no. 1773)
We also find it common in our society that there are some parents who very unashamedly make discrimination and iniquity in bringing up their sons and daughters and even in offering them food and clothing. They tend to create in the person of the son a sense of superiority and in the person of the daughter a sense of inferiority. Whereas our beloved Prophet (SAWS) said, "Whoever had a daughter and did not bury her alive, nor insult her, nor favor his son over her, Allah will admit him into Paradise."
Conclusion: So what we need is the change of this attitude and the spread of the proper teachings of Islam to eradicate this mistaken notion about the daughters. The position of women as it is present in the normative teachings of Islam should be clarified before the people. It should not be forgotten that all men and women have the same kind of soul and they are of the same origin; they are of the same family of Adam and Eve: "O mankind! Reverence your Guardian Lord, Who created you from a single person, created, of like nature, his mate, and from twin scattered (like seeds) countless men and women. Reverence God, through Whom you demand your mutual (rights). And reverence the wombs (that bore you): For God ever watches over you." (Al-Qur'an: 4:1). And Allah has conferred honor to both the sexes without making any discrimination: "We have honored the children of Adam…." (Al-Qur'an: 17:70).
by Md. Mahmudul Hasan