Polygamy, that is the practice of a man of having more than one wife, has existed in human community for a time immemorial. Polygamy in various forms existed in ancient India, pre-Islamic Arabia, Europe, and Britain and in the pacific islands. Sometimes polygamy was socially recognized and religiously accepted. This is evident in the fact that early Jews and Christians were known to practice it. Another more subtle kind of polygamy was practiced, and still is, where men had extra-marital affairs with women in secret. Historical records clearly show that these occurred before the 5th century CE, i.e. before the advent of Islam. Hence it logically does not follow that Islam introduced polygamy and was the first to declare it socially and religiously lawful. What Islam did do was to give it a just and harmonious form so that one can resort to it when necessary in order to prevent certain social evils and at the same time satisfy biological as well as social demands. Islam did this by imposing on polygamy certain rules and restrictions. In the Holy Qur'an, Allah says, "Marry women of your choice two, or three, or four; but if you fear that you shall not be able to treat justly with them, then only one…That will be more suitable to prevent you from evil."
From this we can infer that if a Muslim man has to marry more than one wife, he must meticulously treat all his wives equally and equitably. If he is unable to do so, polygamy is not permissible for him in any way. Thus polygamy, if practiced in the Islamic way, eliminates unfair treatment of the man towards his wives, and hence minimizes jealousy between them. No other form of polygamy is defined by such just rules as in Islam. This makes non-Islamic polygamy an institution-giving rise to familial disharmony and dissatisfaction among the wives.
In another verse of Surah Nisa it is said that man cannot treat his wives equally. Some people may choose to infer from this verse that the Qur'an indirectly prohibits polygamy, as this ayat (verse) seems to contradict the earlier one. However, this would be a misunderstanding of the Qur'anic verses. This is because in the former verse permitting polygamy, the equal treatment of the wives means that they should receive equal shares of their husband's marital properties and his time. In the later verse, equal treatment means to have exactly equal feeling for the wives. A study of psychology shows that feelings of love and affection cannot be mathematically divided into equal parts. Feelings are hard to divide and are not under the control of a person. On the other hand, it is possible for a man to give equal sums of money to his wives, arrange for them to live in equal standards of comforts and luxury and spend equal periods of time in their company. This reasoning shows that the two verses do not contradict and in effect make polygamy lawful.
Reasons for permitting polygamy:
The Qur'anic verses regarding polygamy were originally revealed after the battle of Uhud, in which many men were killed and the ratio of women to men drastically increased. If we scrutinize this circumstance with an open mind, it will be manifest to us that Allah (SWT), out of His mercy, permitted polygamy not only for the pleasures of men, but also for the benefit and convenient of women. If we study history comprehensively, we will notice that there was hardly any epoch in the history of human civilization when there was no war in the world! There has always been war in fact not one, but several wars big or small, taking place simultaneously too in various parts of the world. There are some people who tend to argue that as Islam permitted polygamy during the aftermath of battle, it should not be practiced at any other time when conditions are peaceful. I would urge them to reflect upon the current happenings and the problems of the world and then justify the validity of their logic before they presume to put forth their arguments against polygamy. Moreover, the crises following the war is not the only reason to make room for polygamy though the verse regarding the issue was revealed soon after the war of Uhud. There are some other important reasons and phenomena that rationalize the necessity of polygamy. The fact is that the aftermath of the battle of Uhud badly invites a divine revelation about the then social condition.
Usually it is men who are given the hazardous and dangerous tasks in a human society, as they are fit for it. And as men have to encounter the critical situation like war, they have a greater mortality rate in comparison to women. Accidents in factories, in traffic etc claim the lives of men more than those of women. Hence in any society, demographically, the total number of women exceeds that of men. If the polygamy were forbidden, these women would be left with a few undesirable options-they could remain unmarried and childless, or they could indulge in illicit affairs and have illegitimate children. This would invariably require some married men to commit infidelity, which would in turn disrupts their family-life in the one hand and disturbs the lives of their wives and children on the other. Moreover, the illegitimate children of the illicit association will suffer from lack of sufficient care and the want of a dutiful father. This problem can be avoided only by resorting to polygamy, where the man is required to recognize all his wives and their children, and perform his duties towards them equally. In this case, all the wives are given social honor and the children will enjoy a father.
There are also some personal reasons for polygamy. In giving an example under which a man may desire to have more than one wives, Dr. Jamal Badawi says: "If a young man of 20's who is happily married and has two children, suddenly finds that his wife has contracted a serious illness (mental or physical) or has met with an accident which makes her incapable of sharing intimate relations as before, what alternatives would be open to him?
Sometimes a man may desire a woman other than his wife, but not wish to divorce his wife to marry the other woman. Or may be his wife may not want a divorce. This problem may lawfully be solved if the man takes the new woman as his wife. This will also prevent extramarital affairs. If the first wife does not agree to this arrangement, she may get a divorce. In this way polygamy can be seen not only as a right of man but also a right of women. In such an arrangement, all women are given a right to marry, enjoy a husband and have legitimate children who are provided for. But the conditions of resorting to polygamy should be fulfilled in every respect. The things to be taken into account before going to polygamy are the financial ability of the husband, his sincerity to make equitable justice to all his wives, his biological potentiality etc. In fact, as far as Islamic law is concerned, it can be termed as "conditional polygamy" and not polygamy in an unbridled way. The consent of the first wife is always encouraged in Islam. Her rights and the terms and conditions of the marriage with her should not be violated when marrying another woman. On the other hand the woman to be married as the second wife should duly be informed that she is entering into marriage with a man who is already married. Any concealment from the part of the man taking her as second, third, or fourth wife on the one and the discontent from the part of the woman to be married on the other hand will make the marriage null and void. Thus in Islam the right of both the first wife and following ones is preserved in the law of polygamy.
Reasons for prohibiting polyandry:
Sometimes a question is raised why women are not given the right to have more than one husband at a time and why only men are given this right. Though such question is absurd and shameful, I think it necessary to clarify the matter. The first thing, which I should mention in this respect, is that prohibition against women taking more than one spouse is common almost in every civilization of past and present. And Islam didn't invent it. The practice of polyandry is, in fact, rare in the annuls of world history. Some of the reasons why polyandry is rare are as follows: Firstly, it creates the problem of the identity of the offspring. Since a woman can bear only one child, if she is married to more than one man, there would be no knowing who the father of each of the children is. Secondly, if there are more than one wife under a husband, the relationship between the wives will not exceed the limit of jealousy. But if there are more than one husband of a woman, the rivalry between the husbands will cause violence because the male generally wants leadership in the family. Thirdly, psychologically women are more monogamous than men are and their feelings tend to concentrate more on one subject. So polyandry is against the nature of woman.
by Shakila
The writer is an A-Level student