Legitimate Mixing
Between Men and Women
Some words which have existed in the language for a long time have acquired
new significance and even weight. Among these is the term "mixing (or mingling)",
which refers to mixing of men and women in one place. During the Age of
the Prophet (blessings and peace he upon him), the Age of the Companions
which succeeded it, and the age of their followers, Muslim men and women
met at different gatherings, religious or otherwise, and this was not forbidden
at all. Under the right circumstances and for good reasons, it was legitimate
and natural for them to meet. Nor was it called "mixing" then.
In our age, however, the word has become very common. Nor do I know when
it came into use with the new connotations unsavoury for Muslim men and
women, since mixing one thing with another suggests a dissolution, the
way sugar or salt is dissolved in water, a metaphor that would have unpleasant
suggestions if applied to male-female relations. Anyway, the purpose is
to point out that not every kind of socialisation is prohibited as some
may imagine and as other hard-liners argue. On the other hand, not all
forms of mixing are acceptable as propagators of Westernization claim.
In the second volume of my book Contemporary Legal Opinions (Fataawa Mu'aserah),
I answer questions on this and several other related matters such as greeting
women, handshaking, treatment of women by male doctors and the reverse,
in addition to other questions. A careful Muslim should refer to these
legal opinions if he or she wants to learn about the rules of the Islamic
teachings (shar'a). Here, nevertheless, I would like to make the point
that it is our duty to adhere to the best guidance which is that of the
Prophet Mohammed (blessings and peace be upon him), his righteous successors
and enlightened Companions whose pious paths he recommends sticking to,
avoiding the two extreme routes of Western permissiveness and severe Eastern
asceticism.
By examining this guidance of the Prophet (blessings and peace be upon
him), we find that the woman was not caged or isolated as happened later
during the age of Muslim abatement. The women attended the major congregational
prayers on Fridays at the Prophet's mosque, including the night (Al-Esha)
and dawn (Al-Fajr) prayers. The Prophet (blessings and peace be upon him)
would direct them to form rows behind the men rows, and the more to the
back the better so that they would not see the sensitive parts of men's
bodies that might have shown due to the fact that only a few were familiar
with trousers and underwear, and there was no partition between the men
and women.
Moreover, in the early stages of congregating for prayer, men and women
would go through the same entrance where crowding would occur. The Prophet
(blessings and peace be upon him) said, "If only
we left this entrance to the women". [
Transmitted by Abu Dawud on the authority of Ibn Umar (462) (463).]
So they allocated the entrance for them from that time on and it became
known as the "woman's Entrance." As for the Friday congregation, women
during the Prophet's Era attended the prayer and listened to the sermon
to the extent that one of them could learn the Surah of because the Prophet
(blessings and peace be upon him) recited it frequently from his position
on the sermon pulpit. They also attended the two Bairam (a religious celebration)
congregations and took part in these big Islamic celebrations that
involved all people, old and young, male and female, in the open outskirts
where they would chant the name of Allah. Um`Ateyya, a witness of the Prophet's
Era, said, "We were frequently instructed to go out for the Bairams."
In another version she said, "The Messenger of Allah
(blessings
and peace be upon him) instructed us, the
maids, and the ones in their menses to go out. The women menstruating would
stay away from prayer and witness the good
(of the day) and Muslim's prayer (to
Allah). So I said, `O Messenger of Allah,
there may be one of us who does not have a jilbab (dress)."
He replied, `Let her sister (in Islam)
give her one. [
Sahih Muslim "The Prayers of the Two Eids" (890).]
This is one of the aspects of Muslim life that are ignored by Muslims in
most of their countries. Some, however, such as the devotional retreat
in the last ten days of Ramadan and the attendance of the Bairam congregation
by women, are in the process of coming back to life through the efforts
of the youth of the modern Islamic awakening.
Women always attended the teaching sessions of the Prophet (blessings and
peace be upon him). They would address aisha with the questions they found
awkward or too bold to ask. The Prophet's wife, aisha (may Allah be pleased
with her), praised the women of the Ansar whose shyness did not prevent
them from seeking knowledge of the religion and asking questions about
major issues such as impurity (full sex or ejaculation preventing one from
performing some forms of worship), night ejaculation, washing from impurity,
menstruation and other such matters.
This, however, was not enough for them compared to the men's completely
enfolding the Prophet (blessings and peace be upon him); so they demanded
a special day of teaching be allocated to them without vying with a crowd
of men, and said openly, "Messenger of Allah, the
men have taken complete possession of your company, so devote one of your
days to us." The Prophet (blessings and peace be upon him) promised
to give them a day and he preached and gave them instruction. [
Transmitted by Bukhari in The World (Al-Alam) 1/34 on the authority of
Abu Said.] This kind of female activism was also revealed during battles when women
served in the army with the mujahedeen (warriors who struggle to keep Islam
alive) in a way that suited them and brought out the best of their abilities,
such as attending the wounded, giving medical aid, nursing the injured
fighters, in addition to cooking, procuring water and the like. Um `Ateyya
asserted, "I went on seven military expeditions with
the Prophet (greetings and peace be upon him);
I would guard the fighters, provisions, make their food, treat the injured
and nurse the ill ones". [Transmitted by Muslim (1812).]
Anas, one of the Prophet's Companions, narrates, "On
the Day of Uhud,`aisha and Um Salim, their sleeves rolled up, would carry
water in skin bags on their backs and empty the contents into the soldiers
open mouths". [Transmitted by Muslim
(1811).] The fact that `aisha was still in her teens renders incorrect the claim
that female participation in military expeditions and battles was confined
to old women. Realistically speaking, this defies logic as such work would
be unduly onerous for the aged when considering the physical and psychological
exigencies of war.
In the same line, Imam Ahmad recalls, `six believing
women were in the army that besieged Khaibar, their task being to hand
arrows to the fighters, prepare food, procure water, treat the wounded,
spin yarn and help in (the promotion of)
the cause of Allah. Eventually, the Prophet
(blessings and peace be upon him) allocated
shares in the spoils to them. [Transmitted by Ahmad 51271,7/371;
And Abu Dawud (2729).]
It is also established that some of the Companion's wives took up arms
in some expeditions and battles. The deeds of Um `Imarah Nasba bint Ka'b
on the Day of Uhud are well known and were of such effect as to make the
Prophet say, "Her manner excelled that of such and
such people." On the day of the Battle of Hunain, Um Salum, for
her part, kept a dagger to stab any enemies who would come within her reach.
This story is told again by her son Anas, "On the
Day of Hunain, Um Salum had a dagger; when she was seen by her husband,
Abu Talha, he told the Prophet, `Messenger of Allah, Um Salum is keeping
a dagger with her." When the Prophet asked her about it she answered, `It
is to stab the abdomen of any of the Pagans who might come near me," at
which the Prophet laughed. [Transmitted by Muslim (1809).]
But the women of the Prophet's and Companion's Eras had ambitions that
went beyond the participation in the expeditions into adjacent areas. They
were also keen to take part in the Muslim conquests of distant lands to
help disseminate the message of Islam. Anas narrated, "One
day, the Prophet (blessings and peace be upon him) took his siesta in the
house of Urn Hiram. When he woke up, he laughed. So she asked, `What makes
you laugh, Prophet of Allah?" The Prophet said, `I have seen some people
from my nation, who were out to fight for the sake of Allah, riding the
sea. There were kings seated on their thrones." So she replied, `O Messenger
of Allah, pray to Allah that I may be one of them." He did. [Sahih Muslim (1912)]
During the reign of `Uthman (the third caliph), Um Hiram set sail with
her husband, Ubada ibn As-Samit, to Cyprus, where she was killed while
she was on horseback (in a battle) and was buried there, according to biographers
and chroniclers. A whole section is devoted to highlighting
woman's roles in the battles and military expeditions.
In the sphere of social life, the Muslim woman played her part, preaching
of good deeds, enjoining what is right and forbidding evil, in conformity
with Allah's statement: "The believers, men and women
are "Auliy,"(helpers, supporters, friends,
protectors) of one another, they enjoin (on
the people) what is right Al-Ma`ruf (i.e.
Islamic Monotheism and all that Islam orders one to do),
and forbid (people)
from Al-Munkar (i.e. polytheism and disbelief of all kinds, and
all that Islam has forbidden). [Surah 9:71]
A well-known story depicts a woman reasoning with `Umar (may Allah be pleased
with him) in the mosque over the issue of the amount of bridal money paid to
the bride. It also illustrates how `Umar (the third caliph), being convinced
of her argument, reversed his opinion to that of hers in public. His comment
on this was "everybody's knowledge is better than mine". [Tafsir Ibn Kathir 1/468]
The story is cited by no less an authoritative register than Ibn Kathir's Tafsir,
where Ibn Kathir states its ascription to `Umar is correct. In another version
`Abdul-Raziq cites `Umar as saying about himself, "A woman debated with `Umar
and outdid him in the debate. [
Tafsir Ibn Kathir 7/180] Also during his caliphate, `Umar appointed a woman, Al-Shifa bint Abdullah as
the market-place superintendent.
By examining the Qur'an's discourse on woman's affairs and by looking onto
the lives of the Prophets, we hardly find such an iron curtain, as is drawn
by some people, between men and women. Thus in the prime of his youth,
Prophet Moses (peace be upon him) is depicted talking to the two daughters
of the old man of Madyan. He asks them questions and gets their answers
without any particular feeling of guilt or embarrassment and magnanimously
helps them. One of them returns soon after with an invitation from
her father for Moses to come to their house. One of them even suggests
her father hire Moses, as he is a strong and honest man. This is how the
Qurtan puts it: "And when he arrived at the water
of Midian (Madyan)
he found there a group of men watering (their
flocks), and beside them he found two women
who were keeping back (their flocks).
He said, "What is the matter with you?" They said, "We cannot water (our
flocks) until the shepherds take (their
flocks). And our father is a very old man."
So he watered (their flocks)
for them, then he returned back to shade, and said: "My Lord? Truly, lam
in need of whatever good you bestow upon me!" Then there came to him one
of the two women, walking shyly. She said: "Verily, my father calls you
that he may reward you for having watered
(our flocks) for us." So when he came to him
and narrated the story, he said: "Fear you not. You have escaped from the
people who are Zalimun (polytheists, disbelievers,
and wrongdoers)." And said one of them
(the two women): "O my father! Hire him! Verily,
the best of men for you to hire is the strong, the trustworthy. [Surah 28:23- 26]
In the story of Mary, every time Zachariah comes to her chamber he finds
much food, so he inquires about it:
" Every time he entered Al-Mihrab [A praying place or private room.]
(to
visit) her, he found her supplied with sustenance.
He said: "O Mary! From where have you got this?" She said: "From Allah"
Verily Allah provides sustenance to whom he wills, without limit. [Surah 3:37]
Another story is that of the Queen of Sheba, who is cited by the Qur'an
as consulting her people about how they should respond to Solomon's message
to her: " She said, "O chiefs! Advise me in (this)
case of mine. I decide no case till you are present with me." They said:
"We have great strength, and great ability for war, but it is for you to
command; so think over what you we command." She said: "Verily! Kings,
when they enter a town (country),
they despoil it, and make the most honourable amongst its people low. And
thus they do. [Surah 27:32- 34]
Later then she arrives in Solomon's palace, she converses with Solomon
as follows:
"
So when she came, it was said (to her):
"Is your throne like this?" She said: "(It
is) as though it were the very same." And
(Solomon
said): "Knowledge was bestowed on us before
her, and we were submitted to Allah
(in Islam
as Muslims before her)." And that which she
used to worship besides Allah has prevented here (from
Islam), for she was of a disbelieving people.
It was said to her: "Enter As-Sarh" (a glass
surface with water underneath it), but when
she saw it, she thought it was a pool, and she (tucked
up her clothes) uncovering her legs, Solomon
said: "Verily, it is Sarh paved smooth with slab of glass." She said: "My
lord! Verily, I have wronged myself, and I submit (in
Islam, together with solomon), to Allah, the
Lord of `Alamn (mankind, jinns, and all that
exists). [
Surah 27:42 to 44]
Nor is it right to say that the revealed codes of preceding nations do
not apply to us, since their stories were only cited in the Qur'an for
reflection and guidance. Hence the correctness of the claim that the revealed
code of preceding nations which is given in the Qur'an and the Sunna (traditions
of the Prophet Mohammed) is also a code for us as long as no code of ours
renders it null. Allah said to his Messenger:" They
are those whom Allah had guided. So follow their guidance". [Surah
6:90]
Moreover, the fact that in the early stage of Islam the initially revealed
punishment for a woman who committed adultery was to confine her to a house
until she died or until Allah made a way out for her: "And
those of your woman who commit illegal sexual intercourse, take the evidence
of four witnesses from amongst you against them; and if they testify, confine
them (i.e. women) to
houses until death comes to them or Allah ordains for them some (other)
way. [Surah 4:15] meaning
it is illogical from the point of view of the Qur'an, and Islam in general,
to make house-confinement a characteristic of a decent and chaste Muslim
woman, which would be to punish her without any perpetration. Later, of
course, the punishment changed to flogging for the unmarried couple who
commit adultery and stoning to death for the married ones
In summation, the encounter of men and women is not prohibited in itself.
Quite the contrary, it is allowable or even required if done in pursuit
of a noble cause like gaining knowledge or performing good acts in which
the joint efforts of both men and women are necessary.
This is the position of Islam on man-woman relations, and their common
involvement on charitable and righteous lines is what we call legitimate
mixing; yet "intellectual imperialism" has managed to create in our countries
people who turn a deaf ear to the ruling of Allah and His Messenger. These
people call on us to give the woman free rein to assert herself, promote
her personality, enjoy her life and her femininity. They want her to mix
with men freely, experience them closely where they would be together and
alone, travel with them, go to cinemas or dance till midnight together.
She is supposed to find the "right man" from all those she has known. In
this way, it is said, life is supposed to be more secure and have greater
stability in the face adversity.
These people who may well be thinking of themselves as unblemished seraphs,
tell us not to worry about the man or woman as a result of this "decent"
communication, innocent friendship and upright contact. The frequency of
their contact will pacify desire. The two sexes will supposedly find satisfaction
in the mere look, conversation or, in the extreme, dancing together, which
is only a form of elevating artistic impression. Sensual pleasure would
have no place. It is a clean vent for energy, nothing more. This is said
to be what the advanced West did after they rid themselves of complexes
and privation.
In answer to this line of thinking, we must say that we are Muslims first
and foremost. We do not sell our religion in imitation of the vagaries
of Westerners or Easterners. Our religion forbids us from promiscuous
mixing with its showiness and seductiveness: " Then
we have put you (O Mohammed, blessings and
peace be upon him) on a plain way of (Our)
commandment
like the one We commanded Our messengers before you
(i.e. legal ways and laws of the Islamic Monotheism).
So follow you that (Islamic Monotheism and
its laws), and follow not the desires of those
who know not. Verily, they can avail you nothing against Allah (if
He wants to punish you). [Surah 45:18]
" Verily, the Zalimun (polytheists, wrongdoers,
etc.) are "A why, (protectors,
helpers, etc.) to one another, but Allah is
the Wali (Helper, Protector, etc.)
of the Muttaqun [i.e. pious and righteous persons who fear Allah much (abstain
from all kinds of sin and evil deed which He has forbidden) and
love Allah much (perform all kinds of good
deeds which He has ordained.)]" [Surah 45:18-19]
In addition, the West itself, enamoured by these ideas, is suffering the
consequences of dissipation and decaying morality that has corrupted its
youth and doomed its civilisation to ruin and collapse. In the United States,
in Sweden, and in other countries where sexual freedom is the norm, statistics
show that feverish lust is not alleviated by freedom of talk and contact,
nor by whatever may follow that. On the contrary, the more people taste,
the thirstier they become.
It would be better if we studied the consequences of this freedom or what
may as well be termed looseness and abandonment of virtues and traditions
in modern civilised Western societies.
Numbers and events that fill statistics and reports provide a more convincing
indictment of this point. Sexual freedom and the sexual revolution has
borne its bitter fruit with the dissolution of the barriers separating
men and women and the resultant effects are set forth as follows.
The consequences of sexual promiscuity have been the disintegration of
morality characterised by the tyranny of desire and the triumph of bestiality
over humanity, the loss of sense of chastity and any sense of shyness and
reserve by both men and women giving rise to an internally disturbed society.
In a famous speech in 1962, President Kennedy said that American young
people were loose, indulgent and decadent; six out of seven young men were
not fit to join the army because they were up to their ears in lustfulness.
He warned against the ills of such youth leading the country.
In a book by the Harvard Research Centre director, entitled The Sexual
Revolution, the author firmly states the United States is heading towards
a catastrophic situation of sexual anarchy, akin to that of the Romans
and Greeks. He adds that Americans are beset the by dangers of sexual intemperance
that would overwhelm their culture and all aspects of their life.
While the communists were more reticent on these matters, and general restrictions
existed on media coverage, in 1962, Khrushchev declared that the Soviet
youth had deviated and had been spoilt by luxury. He threatened to open
concentration camps in Siberia to rid the society of the decadent youth
that posed a threat to the future of the Soviet Union.
The rapid increase in the numbers of illegitimate children is directly
related to the unlimited rein given to desire and the removal of barriers
between young men and women. Statistics on the ratio of pregnant school
girls in the United States revealed dreadful dimension. In a newspaper
report, one third of the infants born in 1983 were illegitimate. Most of
them were born to young women under nineteen. The total number of illegitimate
children was 112,353 with a percentage of 37% of the births for that year.
The availability of sex without any liability of marriage and family has
led youth take the route of spending their youth between different partners,
enjoying change without commitment to a "monotonous life" and without having
to provide the costs of a responsible married life and the liabilities
of fatherhood. Thus a huge number of young women are deprived of the opportunity
to have a husband, and settle with a modicum of peace and security, because
of the illicit yearnings of easy relationships. Similarly, there are a
lot of young men who are also deprived of a peaceful life. Statistics published
in the United States show, for the first time since the beginning of the
century, the majority of the inhabitants of San Francisco are celibate;
fifty-three per cent are not married. For Bruce Chapman, who announced
the findings, this was probably an indication of the obsolescence of the
traditional family pattern. He added that these social changes were good
for the welfare of the city which had witnesses a forty per cent increase
in the number of youth between twenty-five and thirty-four during the previous
ten years. This, however, did not include the homosexuals of the city who
constitute fifteen per cent of the population.
In the face of the sexual degradation which is a predominant social phenomena
on the Western world, it was natural for Swedish women to stage a 100,000-woman
demonstration in protest against unlimited sexual freedom. It must have
been woman's institutes and awareness of their future life and where their
interests lie that motivated them to organise such a huge protest.
Not only is marriage beset by many obstacles, it is also unsafe after its
accomplishment. The family collapses and bonds break with occurrence of
the slightest problem. In all Western countries, divorce rates are skyrocketing.
The outbreak of sexually transmitted diseases, as well as neurotic, mental
and psychological diseases, the spread of complexes and disturbances that
claim hundreds of thousands of patients are among the acknowledged effects
of sexual promiscuity. One of the most dangerous, and in many cases lethal
diseases is AIDS, which is caused by the HIV virus. This virus is responsible
for the body's loss of immunity leaving it vulnerable to all factors of
decay Millions of people have succumbed to this menace, a fact that provides
a modern piece of evidence for the words of the Prophet Mohammed (blessings
and peace be upon him) that, "Lechery never appears
in a community, but with its proclamation, plague and affliction appear
throughout, which did not exist in bygone generations". [
Tranmitted by Ibn Majah on the authority of Ibn Umar (4019) ; Al-Zawa'ed,
Hadith Sahih; and Al-Hakim and Al Dhahaby 4/540, 541 and others.]
Notwithstanding the neurosis and psychological disturbances which have
taken Western societies by storm and have filled hospitals and asylums
without patients.
Freud and his followers
in psychoanalysis argued that the lifting traditional restrictions on sexual
instincts would relieve the nerves and consciousness, undo complexes and
give souls a sense of comfort and ease. The restrictions have been lifted,
the desires have been released and the complicated souls are only worse
off; nerves are tenser and anxiety is the disease of the age. Not even
the opening of a million clinics have helped.
It is hard to believe this is the picture the proponents of unrestricted
mixing would like to see of us when Allah has protected us against its
evils. Or is it only (that they do not know?
The first contact with a woman is with one's mother, who suffers in the
pregnancy, delivery, nursing and rearing of her child.
History does not recall a religion or a system which honours the woman
as a mother and which raises her as Islam does. Islam repeatedly commends
the woman, and this comes directly after the command to worship and believe
in the Oneness of Allah. Allah has made honouring one's mother a virtue,
and He puts forth the mother's right over that of the father for what she
endures in pregnancy, delivery, nursing and raising her children. This
is stated and restated in the Qur'an, in multiple chapters, to imprint
this notion in the child's mind and heart as per the following verses:
"And we have enjoined on man (to be dutiful
and good) to his parents. His mother bore
him in weakness and hardship upon weakness and hardship, and his weaning
is in two years-give thanks to Me and your parents,-unto Me is the final
destination. [Surah 31:14]
and
"And We have enjoined on man to be dutiful and kind to his parents. His
mother bears him with hardship and she brings him forth with hardship,
and the bearing of him, and the weaning of `jim is thirty (30)
months.
[Surah 46:15]
A man came to the Prophet (blessings and peace be upon him) asking,
"Who is most deserving of my care?" He said, "Your mother." The man asked,
"Then who?" He said, "Your mother." The man asked, "Then who?" He said,
Your mother." The man asked (the fourth time),
"Then who?" He said, "Your father. [
Transmitted by Bukhari and Muslim on the authority of Abu Huraira The Pearl
and the Coral (Al-Lu'lu' wal-Marjan) (1652)]
Al-Bazzar recounts that a man was circumambulating the Ka'bah carrying
his mother. The Prophet (blessings and peace be upon him) asked him,
"Have
you repaid her?" The man said, "No, not even for one of her moans
(i.e. one of the moans of labour, delivery and so on) [Transmitted by
Al-Bazzar (1872)]
As to be good to her, it means treating her well, respecting her, humbling
oneself in front of her, obeying her without disobeying Allah, seeking
her satisfaction and pleasure in all matters, even in a holy war. If it
is optional, he must have her permission, for being good to her in a type
of jihad. [
Jihad is the struggle (physical, mental, psychological, spiritual, etc.)
to preserve the purity and practice of Islam. (editor's note)]
A man came to the Prophet (blessings and peace be upon him) and said, "O
Messenger of Allah, I want to fight and I want your advice." He asked him,
"Have you a mother?" The man said, "Yes." He said, "Do not leave her because
Paradise is under her feet. [
Transmitted by Al-Nisaai, 6/11; Ibn Majah, 1/278 and Al-Hakim. It is amended
and approved by Al-Dhahaby, 4/151, on the authority of Muaaweya Ibn Jammah.]
Some religious laws before Islam neglected the mother's relations, making
them insignificant. With the advent of Islam, it recommended caring for
uncles and aunts, both on the father's side and the mother's. A man approached
the Prophet (blessings and peace be upon him) and said, "I
committed an offence, could I atone for it?" He asked, "Have you got a
mother?" The man said, "No." He asked, "Have you got a maternal aunt?"
The man said, "Yes." The Prophet (blessings and peace be upon him) said,
"Be good to her. [
Transmitted by Termithy in "Righteousness and Relations" (1905); Ibn Hibban
Charity (EI-Ehsan) (435); and Al-Hakim who amended it on the terms of the
two Sheikhs, agreed upon by Al-Dhahaby, 4/155, all on the authority of Umar.]
It is amazing that Islam commanded us to be good to a mother even though
she is an unbeliever! Asma'a bint Abu Bakr asked the Prophet (blessings
and peace be upon him) about her relationship to her unbelieving mother
who had come to her. He said, "Yes, be on good terms
with your mother". [Transmitted on the
authority of Asmaa (agreed upon), The Pearl and the Coral (Al-Lu'lu' wal-Marjan)
(587).]
An indication that Islam cares for motherhood, for the rights of mothers
and their feelings is that a divorced mother has greater rights and is
worthier of looking after her children than the father. `Abdallah ibn `Amr
ibn Al-as transmitted that a woman asked,
"O Messenger
of Allah, this son of mine had my womb as a container, my breasts for drinking,
my lap to contain him. His father has taken him from me." The Prophet (blessings
and peace be upon him) said, "You have more right if you do not marry". [Transmitted by Ahmad
in Al Musnad (6707). Sheikh Shaker said its authenticity is correct. Transmitted
also by Abu Dawud.]
Imam Al-Khataby said in Landmarks of Traditions (Maalem As-Sunna): "Container"
is the name of the place that contains a thing. This means that the mother
is worthier as she and the father shared in the begetting of the child,
then she was singled out for such things as nursing which the father had
no share in. Therefore she deserves to be the first when it comes to disputes
about the child.
On the authenticity of Ibn `Abbas who said, "`Umar ibn Al-Khattab divorced
his wife from Al-Ansar, the mother of `Asim. He met her carrying the child
in Mahser (a market- place between Quba and Medina). The child was weaned
and could walk. `Umar held out his hand to take the child from her and
disputed about it till the boy cried out in pain. `Umar said,
"I am worthier of my son than you "They
complained
to Abu Bakr, whose verdict was that the mother should keep the child. He
said, "Her scent, her bed, and her lap are better for him than yours until
he grows up and chooses for himself ". [
Landmarks of Traditions (Maalem as-Sunna) (2181).]
The mother who is cherished that much by Islam and given all these rights
has a task to perform. She has to take care of her children, raise them
well, implant virtues, and make them loathe evil. She has to teach them
to obey Allah, encourage them to defend what is truthful, not dissuade
them from fighting for the sake of Allah (one form of jihad) because of
the motherly sentiments in her heart but to favour the correct way over
sentiment.
We saw a believing mother, Al-Khansaa, in the Battle of Qadesseyah eloquently
urging her four sons to be brave and steadfast. Then as soon as the battle
was over and the news of their four deaths came to her, she did not wail
and carry on but said with certainty and contentment, "Praise be to Allah
who honoured me with their martyrdom for His faith."
Out of Qur'anic guidance, we have been supplied wit superb examples of
good mothers who had influence and position in the history of the faith
in Allah. Moses" mother, for example, responded to Allah's inspiration
and calling when she cast the apple of her eye into the river, assured
of Allah's promise: "And We inspired the mother of
Moses, (saying):
`suckle him (Moses),
but when you fear for him, then cast him into the river and fear not, nor
grieve. Verily! We shall bring him back for you, and shall make him one
of (Our) Messengers." [Surah 28:7]
There is also Mary's mother, who promised what she had in her womb to be
devoted to Allah, to be pure of any polytheism or worship of anything other
than Allah. She prayed to Allah to accept her vow: "so
accept (this),
from me. Verily, You are the All-Hearer, the All-Knowing". [
Surah 3:35] When
the child turned out to be a female, which she had not expected, it did
not prevent her from fulfilling her vow, asking Allah to protect her from
all evil: "and I seek refuge with You (Allah)
for her and for her offspring from Satan, the outcast" [
Surah 3:36]
Moreover, the Qur'an has made Mary (may Allah be pleased with her), daughter
of `Imran and mother of the Prophet Jesus (peace be upon him), an example
of purity, humility to Allah and of faith in His word. "And
Mary, the daughter of `Imran who guarded her chastity; and We breathed
into (the sleeve of her shirt or her garment)
through Our "Ruh" (i.e. Gabriel),
and she testified to the truth of the Words of her Lord
(believed in the Words of Allah "Be! and he was; that is Jesus-son of Mary;-as
a Messenger of Allah), and (also
believed in) His Scriptures, and she was of
the Qanitun (i.e. obedient to Allah). [
Surah 66:12]
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